im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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