I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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