Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
