I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
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