So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
