I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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