That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
