Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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