Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
