just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
