I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
