I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
