In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
