oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
