i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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