If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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