she looked like the before picture.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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