I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
