Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just want to make out with him forever
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
