Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
