fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
