It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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