You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
