Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
