I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
