Is it because I queefed?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
