eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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