i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
