he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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