I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
