Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
