Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
