you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
