remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So much rum. So many feels.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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