i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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