I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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