Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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