Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
