I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Let's get the cat blown out
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
