Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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