It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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