Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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