dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
