she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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