Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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