well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
