i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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