I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
