he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
