Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
