You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You dont lie about slip and slides
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
