my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
