My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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