so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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